Four Legs Kicking

Four legs kicking.  That's what I see when I glance down at the stroller I am pushing.  My children freely kick their feet while we walk, giggling as they watch each other kick.  While I am driving, they kick in their carseats and I see their legs in the rearview mirror.  In their cribs, they awaken and kick with excitement when I enter the room in the morning.  Whenever they are left to their own devices, they kick with their whole beings.  And when they kick, they smile.  More often than not, those smiles become giggles.

In the meantime, I have not quite recovered from our move to Florida.  We moved out of our beloved condo to a hotel in Massachusetts with two kids and four cats, then two weeks later we all flew to Florida.  Finally finally FINALLY our stuff came and we unpacked and unpacked and unpacked.  Then... limbo.

For the first time in my life, I'm not working.  So while my wife starts a new job in a new school district, I wake up every morning to a long day ahead with my two little ones, planning meals and household chores and errands and if I'm incredibly lucky a successful nap time.  It's too damn hot to go outside and I feel too cooped up staying indoors.  According to social media where I look for meet-up groups and things to do, I'm a SAHM.  A Stay-At-Home-Mom.

Sometime during my first week,  I found myself wandering aimlessly through Sam's Club, pushing my children in their double stroller, looking at huge quantities of many things we neither want nor need.  Is this my life now, I wondered, wallowing in homesickness.  Then I looked down.  There they were.  Four legs kicking.  Two little faces smiling up at me.

What did I do?  Well, I didn't get a Sam's Club Membership.  I marched us right back to the car and we went home.  I lay on my back beside my toddlers and all three of us kicked the bedroom wall with our legs high above our heads, thunk-thunk, thunk-thunk, thunk-thunk.  My children's laughter pulled me out of the mud.

Since then, every day has gotten better.  I have a new job now, I'm a SAHM.  It's intense, and exhausting, and wonderful, and funny all at the same time.  We spend a lot of time being silly, making goofy noises, dancing around the house, watching the overhead fans and turning on and off the light switches.  We play with educational toys, read tons of books, and go on daily outings.  Every day, my children kick with their whole bodies.  Every day, in my less-than-stellar moments, their joy reminds me to take a deep breath, smile, and kick a little more freely.